Cyberbrethren: A Lutheran Blog

Punctuation Matters

Amazing what a little missing comma can do.

NAIROBI, Kenya/GENEVA, 29 November 2007 (LWI) - In her evening
prayer, Rev. Dr Gloria Rojas Vargas, president of the Evangelical
Lutheran Church in Chile (IELCH) led others in floating in a
clear bowl of water flowers representing the world's continents.

Punctuation Matters

I'm reading Eats Shoots and Leaves, a hilarious and powerful appeal to give attention to proper punctuation. Case in point? See the banner below. Note what a difference a missing apostrophe makes?

Changing Light Bulbs

How many Christians does it take to change a light  bulb? 

[No, Mormons are not Christians, ok? It's a joke people. For those who don't get that point, please...read no further, run, don't walk, to get a life. Thanks!]

Charismatic: Only 1
Hands are already in the  air.   

Pentecostal: 10

One to change the bulb, and  nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
 

Presbyterians:  None
Lights will go on and off at predestined  times.

   

Roman Catholic: None
Candles  only.   

 

Baptists : At least 15.

One to change the  light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who  brings the potato salad and fried chicken .   

Episcopalians:  3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons:  5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do  it.

Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement  either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in  your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are  invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for  the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb  traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and  tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to  luminescence.   

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your  light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.You can be a light  bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday  lighting service and a covered dish to pass.   

 

Nazarene! :  6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.   

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in  change.

Missouri Synod Lutherans: 11
One to change it, and ten consultants to tell us how

ELCA Lutherans: 101
Ten ten-member task forces to meet and issue reports and studies on the subject of changing light bulbs until everyone agrees its ok, one person to change it.

Amish: What's a light  bulb?

Oh, now this just isn't right either...

Somebody sent this to me and told me it was a Lutheran Advent Calendar.

Wishes

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

From: Despair, Inc.